Emotional Regulation Disorder



What is your name?
My name is Diana.

So what are you dealing with?
I’m dealing with, to sum it up, emotional regulation issues.

And what does that entail?
That involves kind of difficulty I guess with keeping my emotions from sort of taking over and clouding my judgment and affecting decisions I make and making things more difficult I think than they need to be some of the time.

How long have you been dealing with it?
I don’t have to say probably the last ten years, but probably a little bit longer than that to a different degree I think.

What have been your coping strategies for it?
My coping strategies are ones that I just found out about after going to counseling actually. Previous to that I would say I had very poor coping strategies, or possibly none. Limited abilities in that direction, but I think after I went to see my counselor I find out there’s very specific things you could do like slow down your thinking. I have a chart that I went by that I found useful at first to sort of retrain the way I dealt with things that were hard for me and so I would write down and stop myself from kind of going to with the reaction and try to think through it. I could still react the way I wanted to but at some point the thinking has to kick in and that sort of helps you work through it faster and I guess in a better way.

So with counseling what kind of resources they provided you with or any other kind of guidance from any other kind of organization that you’ve sought help from?
Well I think that the only the only thing I actually accessed would be mental health counseling services at the local hospital and that was pretty much it also. There’s also one on one session with the psychiatrist and that was he was working with the counselors just it was kind of on the recommendation of somebody else actually but it was actually I found it really beneficial overall.
I think that I had a bit extra help with regards to my counseling. I had a social worker that was involved and they were able to explain some of what I was going through, which meant that the counseling I think went along a lot smoother and quicker because I didn’t have to be the only one telling the counselor what was actually happening. So I was really appreciative of that. I understand that the worker was very was communicating with the counselor regularly and that took a lot of the pressure off for me and I think when people are in stressful situations it can be very hard, if not impossible, to explain what exactly is going on in their life at that time. So I’m actually very grateful for that person’s involvement on my behalf.

Would you say that anything really triggers what you’re dealing with?
Specifically, I would have to say sometimes noise, just noise actually. But in most cases it would probably be other people and their reactions to things. Certain situations are worse but I’ve never really thought of it. It would be generally be some situation that I wouldn’t probably be in control of and possibly other people getting excited as well.

So what are future goal or ambitions? Or things that will help you toward getting to a good place if you’re not already there?
So I’d say my future goals are to sort of stick to, or constantly reference the material and the information I was provided with, and try to keep on an even keel, I don’t know how else to describe it. So that I’m not constantly being dragged down by, I would have to say, negative thinking ultimately. It’s about going forward and carrying on and using coping strategies and instead of letting things get you down or drag you down. And if you do, find a way to get back up fairly quickly. And I don’t I think it’s unrealistic to expect to kind of beat it every day or even do well sometimes with it every day but, overall I think it becomes easier and the more you practice, maybe even thinking in a different way, the easier it becomes. And so you have better days and you just practice better coping skills and it just gets easier. I think it takes a while and I think it probably took me about a year to actually change from thinking so negatively and I didn’t realize until I was kind of in a certain situation where this became so important that that I didn’t realize how my thinking was making it all so much harder.

Do you think you can live positively while dealing with something so negative?
Yeah I think that it’s possible to live positively with in actually quite a negative situation because it’s actually very dependent on the way I guess thinking and dealing with each day and I think it’s you know you could look at it as being as yourself as being in a very tough situation but I think possibly in comparison to other people in other countries it may be highly dependent on the way you are viewing your situation. And I think too for myself, sometimes writing down what exactly was bothering me was a big eye opener because at times I would say eighty percent might my attitude and other times it was really a tough situation actually, but not always. I think the key is to sometimes just examine it a bit and examine your day and maybe look at whether your attitude is clouding your experiences or putting a negative twist on it when it maybe doesn’t have to be quite so negative.
I think I’ve made a choice to sort of go forward in a different way. And so yes I have to say so because it’s easier. It’s just easier.

So you do find that you do you do you try and approach it positively?
Yes I do try to approach it positively whenever possible but, I also don’t get down on myself when I’m unable to do that, but I try.

If you could give people any type of advice when dealing with any type of situation what would it be?
I think the advice I would give people is not to get discouraged if you are actually not happy with the counseling or the counselor or people you’re talking to or with. I would just say don’t give up and don’t get discouraged. There are other people out there experiencing something similar to what you’re experiencing, if not the same. Just keep trying. I think sometimes it can be a case of just getting the right counselor, the person understands you or what you’re trying to say if you’re not a good communicator, I know that can be really tough. But I think if you keep trying to get yourself around people or a person, I think it just takes one actually, to help you work through your stuff and just don’t give up.